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The A-Z of Retail Pharmacy

·2364 words·12 mins
Table of Contents

So I had this idea. I read this book called ‘A-Z of Manliness’ written by Maddox. What if I wrote a book called ‘The A-Z of Retail Pharmacy’. Seriously! Get it published, and get professors to make their students buy it! I mean I can explain retail pharmacy a whole lot better than some professor who hasn’t been yelled at in 10 years!
So heres the table of contents. Feel free to add or suggest things:

  • A – Anger, Addiction
    • B – Babies
      • C – Chains, Chronic Pain, Copays
        • D – Doctors, Drug Reps, DAW-1
          • E – Exaggeration, Ensure, Egos
            • F – Fakers, Fake Rx
              • G –
                • H – Hold Times
                  • I – Independants
                    • J – Jackasses
                      • K – Kickbacks
                        • L – Lunches (ha!)
                          • M – Mail Order, Medicare
                            • N – Narcotics
                              • O – Overprescribed
                                • P – PBM, Prior Auth, Public
                                  • Q – Questions
                                    • R – Reimbursements
                                      • S – Stupidity, Showers
                                        • T – Transfers
                                          • U – Ungrateful
                                            • V – Vaginal Questions
                                              • W – Welfare
                                                • X – XXX
                                                  • Y – Yelling
                                                    • Z –

Comments #

Comment by on 2007-02-06 21:23:22 -0800 #

A – Addiction
E – Exaggerated Stories
O – Overprescribed
Q – Queries (Ignorant)
U – Underused Medications
V – Vaginal Questions (Yes, you can ask a man)
X – XXX (Why can’t I look up porn at work – I’ll be more efficient!)

Comment by Kathy on 2007-02-06 21:42:56 -0800 #

K – Kickback (uh..rebates)

Comment by The Angriest Pharmacist on 2007-02-06 22:03:34 -0800 #

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…
I enjoy your professionalism and love your site. I intend on using more swears and pure rage in my postings…It’s just how I am for the most part…
I betcha I’ll never have an iota of the subscribers you have though. My blog is gonna be more for me and my buddies…

Comment by LMB RPh on 2007-02-06 23:37:21 -0800 #

I cannot believe you left out H!!!
Hydrocodone certainly deserves a chapter!
How about Hydrocodone Hounds from Hell?

Comment by somepharmacyguy on 2007-02-06 23:47:44 -0800 #

F – “F**k off, I told you it will be ready in 30 mins”
H – Holding on for a 30 second window to visit toilet – tips and strategies.
L – Levonorgestrel / MAP japes
Z – Zoladex, and other expensive Rx’s; how not to lose money on them.

Comment by Patrick on 2007-02-07 04:19:07 -0800 #

F-Fake Scripts

Comment by Nocturnal Doc on 2007-02-07 04:30:36 -0800 #

H-hygiene, specifically some patients lack thereof

Comment by Disgruntled Intern on 2007-02-07 04:59:50 -0800 #

F – Fakers and Frauds

Comment by TJV on 2007-02-07 06:29:42 -0800 #

G- Generics. Also, the A-Z of Manliness is a good book. When you’re finished with that you should also read Tucker Max’s “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.” They’re both great books. Keep up the posts. You are awesome.

Comment by Rebecca on 2007-02-07 07:28:21 -0800 #

F = free advice/frustration
G = geriatric population
L = lunch break debate/Lying

Comment by Kim on 2007-02-07 07:28:26 -0800 #

F – flatulence
G – gonorreah
J – jaundiced (as in liver and viewpoint)
L – lies
U – ugly
Z – Zoloft for everyone!
I have too much time on my hands this morning.

Comment by RxCat on 2007-02-07 07:29:38 -0800 #

How about:

Comment by patrice on 2007-02-07 07:36:47 -0800 #

f=fucktards, g=gripes, h=haters, j=junkies, l=love my work, u=unscupleless (sp?), z=zolof
if you just took all your rants and put them in a book i would so buy it for my mom (a pharmacist) and my baby sister (4th year “candidate”) and i would so have a copy for my older sis (nurse) and myself (lowly tech wanting to go into oriental/complimentary medicine). we use your site to chill out, laugh and gripe about what has happened to the medical industry.

Comment by Greg the Intern on 2007-02-07 08:58:22 -0800 #

I’m a third year, love the site; gonna try to fill in the blanks
F – Fraud
G – Greasy Rx Labels
H – Hopelessness
J – Junk Food / Juvenile Delinquent
L – Lost Prescriptions
U – Understaffed
Z – Zombie

Comment by rxsucks on 2007-02-07 10:22:58 -0800 #

Here are a few ideas to fill up the holes:
G=Generics or Geriatrics
L=Long Wait (2 words sorry)
PS Check out my attempt at a webiste: and tell me what you think. I wish I could only write as well as you-Your so damned creative. Please keep up the good work and I love the new layout.
[email protected]
Think I’ll call myself Rx Troll

Comment by Stephanie R on 2007-02-07 11:01:11 -0800 #

B-Bloody Prescriptions
D-Doctor Errors
F-Funky smells
K-Kooky patients
L-Lies, lies, and more lies!
M-Morning after pill
N-NDC not covered
P-Psychic ability you’re supposed to have.
Q-Quests through profiles to refill “all my meds”
R-Refill to soon
S-Saturated labels on vaginal meds
T-Telling life story to ask simple question
V-Very snooty receptionists
W-Waiting on hold
X-Xenical not covered. Patient Angry.
Y-Young moms
Z-Zealous nurses who have no clue.

Comment by George on 2007-02-07 12:22:15 -0800 #

F= Fed Up

Comment by Jmerph on 2007-02-07 12:52:04 -0800 #

F = Forgot my new insurance card
L = Lost controlled substances prescriptions
I love your blog. You keep me sane! When at work whenever someone pisses me off I just mutter to myself “” and it makes me laugh. THANK YOU!

Comment by Nguyennie on 2007-02-07 14:23:30 -0800 #

How about the “Five-second Rule” in regards to dropping pills on the floor.

Comment by Jory on 2007-02-07 15:04:04 -0800 #

F – Fucktards (Fucking Retards, i.e. MA Patients)
G – Golightly (gotta love the shits)
H – Helmet (for banging head on counter while on hold with insurances)
J – Justice (or lack thereof)
L – Lortab (no explanation needed) or Lost Prescription
U – Untrained Nurses
Z- Zoloft (cause by the end of the day you wanna pop a bottle)

Comment by Christine on 2007-02-07 20:54:59 -0800 #

Lol…. that’s a good one!
how about F for Flatulence?
or Z for Zolpidem?
haha, sorry i’m bad at this but this is all i can come up with.. -_-”’

Comment by drug czar on 2007-02-08 02:30:30 -0800 #

H is Hot drug reps

Comment by Phrustrated Pharmie on 2007-02-08 07:45:48 -0800 #

How about “T” is for therapy… As in all the therapy you will need after you are done w/ retail.

Comment by Adam on 2007-02-08 07:49:38 -0800 #

D-Drug Interaction
E-Early Refills
P-Prior Authorization
W-Workers Comp
V-Voice Mail, Vacation Overrides

Comment by Phrustrated Pharmie on 2007-02-08 07:57:55 -0800 #

How about “T” is for therapy… As in all the therapy you will need after you are done w/ retail.

Comment by NHPharmD on 2007-02-08 08:45:08 -0800 #

These are great! I would have to make a few changes 🙂
B-Brand Name Only
D-Drains: most common place to open your medication over top of.
E-Egos (from doctors and some nurses)
I- I lost my Soma, Diazepam, and Vicodin refills please?
M- Medicare Part D/Medicaid
P- Prior Authorization
When can we pre-order?

Comment by Hope on 2007-02-08 15:31:57 -0800 #

I can’t believe you passed up ‘F,’ ‘U,’ and a chance to say ‘insurance’ instead of independents! How about a page from Jim P’s book, and ‘F’ could be ‘foreign accents.’ ‘U’ could be ‘uninsureds.’ ‘H’ could be the hairy eyeball you get when you try to collect a copay in a lot of situations.

Comment by Anonymous on 2007-02-08 21:18:38 -0800 #


Comment by true fans on 2007-02-09 18:47:00 -0800 #

A – addict (alcoholism for us)
B – bullshit excuses
C – coupons
D – damn copays
E – ensure
G – give me a gun!
H – headache
I – insurance
J – jerky Dr.?s office
K – kill me please!
L – lunch break? What is that?
M – medicare
N – narcotics
O – overprescribed
P – public (enough said)
Q – quinine
R – returns
S – soma
T – transfers
U – ungrateful
V – vaginal questions
W – what the fuck?
X – XX (the beer)
Y – yeast infections (under the boob ? your favorite!)
Z – zero tolerance for stupidity
Thought you might like our version of your A-Z of Retail Pharmacy. (we borrowed some of your letters though).

Comment by A’mee on 2007-02-09 21:02:12 -0800 #

F- Fraud, welfare, L & I, etc….

Comment by JD-OB on 2007-02-10 07:47:43 -0800 #

All MDs should have to read this stuff. As an OB/Gyn I prescribe 1 mg folate and centrum or flintstone, but your point about PNVs is valid.
The drug industry in general is at best a wash for its contribution to health care. The costs of marketing must double the costs of the meds.
Every drug rep lunch involves an attractive rep with a “free” lunch and charts of why their drug is better than the competition. Not that any of them would know statistical significance or conflict of interest (since they fund the research) if it bit them in their well formed ass.
Remember Vioxx? I have argued with multiple reps about why I should prescribe Vioxx for menstrual cramps. My response was that 800mg of ibuprofen worked well and costs 5 dollars a month versus $50-100 for Vioxx. Their biggest argument was that it was so much safer. I could prevent gastric ulcer perforations.
The point here is that there are so many less expensive options for effective meds which have been around “forever” with known safety profiles.
I don’t understand why so many new drugs are filled? Most patients don’t want to pay more than their $10-15 copay and will call your office if they have to pay $50/month for the latest PNV with DHA, overactive bladder, irritable bowel, HRT or OCP drug

Comment by Scott on 2007-02-10 16:44:55 -0800 #

G= generic (aka genetic, geriatric, gerichronic)

Comment by salesrep1 on 2007-02-12 14:13:46 -0800 #

All you pharmacists are fucking pill pooping losers.
Your sales rep!

Comment by Bat on 2007-02-15 14:59:54 -0800 #

G as in “Gimme my Soma, Vi-co-dan…(or other narcotic of choice”
Also see G as in “Gimme my script back!” Especially used when you refuse to refill an early Soma request.

Comment by heather on 2007-02-16 00:14:33 -0800 #

F- frequent flyers
V- “vacation” supply
W- Watson Brand (why do all frequent flyers swear “Watson Brand” works the best?)

Comment by core5doc on 2007-02-16 20:35:24 -0800 #

I – Insurance Reps

Comment by Bobby Lavish on 2007-02-20 08:47:42 -0800 #

I would have to back up “G” for generics or how about… “Get Lost” which I am sure goes through retail pharmacist minds sometimes when dealing with rude customers…

Comment by Kristin on 2007-04-16 20:25:55 -0700 #

oh god you forgot…
D – Does this look infected to you??

Comment by Sean RPh. on 2007-04-30 22:47:19 -0700 #

G=Guy who comes into my pharmacy every day and jabbers for an hour while I’m trying to work, then comes back in 40 minutes and does it all over again.
Z=Zelnorm. It’s gone. Deal with it.

Comment by KY_Husky on 2007-05-08 20:45:54 -0700 #

G – Generic Substitutions, Geriatrics
J – Junkies
N – Non-English speakers
R – Random Rashes

Comment by DUq girl on 2007-05-30 18:39:58 -0700 #

G- give me fuel perks. “sir this is Eckerd, we dont have fuel perks or any gas stations”
-customer: well then you should get some damn gas stations and Give me fuel perks!!!

Comment by eddie armstrong on 2007-07-10 13:34:51 -0700 #

I–i’m a
P–pain in the
A–ass to
and you thought it stood for
health ins portability and
accountability act—now didn’t ya’!!!!

Comment by pharmgrown on 2007-08-09 21:44:56 -0700 #

S= signing bonuses:selling your soul to the devil!

Comment by 1R15HN0M4D on 2007-11-20 09:08:42 -0800 #

G- Geritatric (how a patient CAN be allergic to ALL geriatric medications)

Comment by Teresa on 2008-09-19 07:51:14 -0700 #

Examples for G and Z.
G – “God, not again!”
Z – Zip your lips.

Comment by jenn on 2008-12-26 22:17:38 -0800 #

G – Glucometers, and why I can’t fill your test strips without knowing what machine you have…

Comment by Ashley on 2008-12-27 22:26:35 -0800 #

I – I collect my insurance cards
I love it when I ask for their card and they fan out 10 of them and say “I don’t know which one it is…” Are you trying to show me a magic trick with a deck of cards or get a script filled?

Comment by Little Ol’ Me on 2011-07-08 23:11:38 -0700 #

G- “Government Tit Suckers”
X-“Xanax….and other things that make you into a bar-tard.)
I know this entry is old, but I thought I would play along for fun anyway :-)!

Comment by angelina on 2012-01-25 10:35:28 -0800 #

L= lack of lunch or breaks. I quit a retail store when they refused me a lunch or break one day. I had enough of it. It happened too often. I just wanted to run out to my car and grab the sandwich I brought to eat during “lunch”. Dayshift pharmacists went home without allowing me lunch. When I told store manager I was running out to grab my sandwich, he refused. I closed the pharmacy, signed in my keys and never looked back.
R= retail sucks.

Comment by Vote No Board of Directors on 2012-01-25 20:27:10 -0800 #

How about “R” for raping of a company and its employees. We have dirtbag “directors” giving 50% raises to ceo’s while at the same time cutting hours and benefits to its employees. These muckity mucks don’t “own” the company, they are employees the same as everyone else. It’s finally happened that after the banks raped the country pharmacy is catching on. They get their’s and leave the real workers holding an empty sack. What do you think might happen to you if you caused a 30% drop in rx volume? A 50% raise? No! But if you are a hand picked puppet that does what the board wants then you can cause a 30% decline in a stock and still get a handsome 50% raise. Dump the Walgreens board and send a clear message! VOTE NO!