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Swimming in the Porcelain Pool

·1326 words·7 mins

I get a lot of drug ad crap in the mail, but once in a while one really attracts my attention in a real ‘WTF were they thinking’ way.

Take Exhibit A:

Why is my mouth open when I have to poop in a pool?!?

Now Miralax is like Metamucil, it makes you poop.  Now I’m not sure what floats your boat, but if I were constipated and needed something to soften my food-baby, the LAST place I would want to be in swimming in a pool with my mouth open when the brown tide decides to come in.  Is the woman supposed to represent a poop floating in the water?  How does swimming in a pool go with constipation?  Maybe if her skin were dissolving in the water it would be more along the lines of the ‘osmotic effect’.  Maybe the force of the poop is propelling her through the water?  Should the water be going IN her butt?  I took it upon myself with my awesome drawing skills to make this ad more realistic:

Remember kids, when you’re straining like a puppy pooping peach stones, grab your Miralax and head over to the local pool, because nothing gets your bowels moving like an osmotic effect on both sides of the ole turd-cutter.

Comments #

Comment by Do ya have da blue watsons? on 2010-11-11 00:52:49 -0800 #

Was kinda hoping to see a rant on the CVS sales at all cost juggernaut ignoring the PITA pseudophed sales regs in CA & NV. Love the site keep up the anger. And yes that ad is absolutely blissfully stupid. Prob look a lot cooler if you’re constipated from the OC imprint- cause my MD said I need the originals.

Comment by Dr. Grumpy on 2010-11-11 04:01:33 -0800 #

Wasn’t this scene in “Caddyshack”?

Comment by Jenn (tech) on 2010-11-11 09:07:17 -0800 #

Aww I wish we didn’t throw our copy of that ad away. One of my fellow techs took a red sharpie and made it look like blood was coming out of her mouth (and ass). I’m going to have to show him your lovely artwork today 😀

Comment by Carla S on 2010-11-11 11:16:53 -0800 #

Oh Angry, Thank you for saying what all of us are thinking! Nice artwork!

Comment by niterph-pacingmyselfsargeant on 2010-11-11 17:26:35 -0800 #

Sorry, too busy looking at her “cans” to even care or read the ad’s caption. Huh, Miralax, I’ve heard of it … maybe you’re supposed to dissolve a capful in 50,000 gallons of pool water before you drink it.

Comment by ORRPh on 2010-11-11 17:28:31 -0800 #

What about the new ad for the new combination oral contraceptive Natazia. The title ad says “introduce her to a new COC” Myabe it just takes a guy to see the humor in that one.

Comment by Mis on 2010-11-11 22:05:46 -0800 #

very funny lol love it!!! Makes me not want to swim anymore

Comment by LD50 placebo effect on 2010-11-12 09:35:53 -0800 #

There wasn’t any meaningfulness in the ad, just what the low-cost budget ad agency could get away with in a provocative photo for a single photo shoot ad that could be placed in magazines such as US Pharmacist, Pharmacy Times, JAMA, Lancet, Time, Playboy and Seventeen. Hit ’em all at the same time with the one ad. An attempt at providing PG-13 rated photo of a woman showing as much could be shown without showing everything, in a pinkberry Miralax bottle-colored top, no less. (Hey, we had to take designing drug ads in p’cog, too.)

By the way, Pfizer and Time magazine got my earful when they ran an extremely detailed Viagra-type ad on one of the first pages. Kids read Time all the time and they don’t need to be seeing how much of a problem with erections older gigolos have.

Comment by rph3664 on 2010-11-13 20:32:14 -0800 #

A Miralax ad in \Seventeen? Great, teach them how to refine their eating disorders.

Comment by ABCD on 2010-11-13 22:58:39 -0800 #

ROFLMFAO…this has GOT to the funniest thing I’ve seen/read in 6MO. LOL

Comment by dale hood on 2010-11-14 18:48:27 -0800 #

I hope that Purdue Pharma puts ads with coupons in Kentucky and Tennessee issues of “Progressive farmer” Pentacostal Today” and Boys Life and directs them to your desk!

Comment by DerekCPHT on 2010-11-15 09:14:14 -0800 #

Like so many sample package/coupon packs patients bring in. How many of these things seem to say “take our drug and it’ll fix your life”?

Comment by Mr. PhoneRPh on 2010-11-18 15:23:26 -0800 #

Excellent points made. I, too, enjoy the great advertising some drug companies are doing lately. I didn’t know taking a tab to get an erection is similar to sitting in a tub near a cliff… Or just thinking I’m healthy doesn’t spare me from a getting a coronary. Or how the side effects are stated like your checking off grocery list – May cause anal discharge (check), may cause liver or kidney damage (check), if your erection lasts longer than four hours, your penis may fall off (check)… I wonder how someone can get on board with an advertising agency…

Comment by Disgusted Pharmacist on 2010-11-19 19:37:23 -0800 #

I love you angry pharmacist–you really make me laugh. In fact I’ve been laughing so hard I’m crying! I will forever remember this when I jump into my backyard pool next summer.

Comment by livingdeadnurse on 2010-11-23 20:26:56 -0800 #

muahahah…reminds me of some of the extenz commericals i have seen…blech what were they thinking

Comment by GoGatorsTech on 2010-11-25 09:39:08 -0800 #

Great use of yet another otherwise useless drug ad… In a not related topic, I love getting this kind of phone call from our druggie friends out there…Uhhhh… do you guys have any of the generic “Oxy-Cottin” that has “OC” on the tablet? Uhhhh, my doc says those are the only ones I can take for my “Low Back Pain”. My script is for #120 tabs. Do you guys have those? My resopnse: NO! We don’t have any “OC’s”, go find something else to crush up and smoke, MORON!!! 🙂

Comment by Laura on 2010-11-26 19:55:40 -0800 #

You are awesome! What do you think when a customer comes to the counter talking on their cellphone and expects to waited on immediatley

Comment by Gary on 2010-11-27 21:08:45 -0800 #

LMMFAO!!! I like your version of the ad much better!

Comment by JoshTxPharmD on 2010-12-01 23:07:05 -0800 #

Especially funny since Natazia is usually a girl’s name! Maybe it’s a tranny with a girl’s name, by chance?

Comment by Bexsta on 2010-12-18 16:29:52 -0800 #

How about the recent ad we received for O-Cal prenatal vitamins? If you haven’t seen it then get your hands on one. It says, “Doctor I don’t want to have an ugly baby!” and the idea is that if you take O-cal then your baby will be effing gorgeous! NOT TRUE! My fave is also the photo of the perfect baby labeled “O-Cal” and then two other babies labeled as other generic brands. Imagine the horrible complex that those parents who donated a photo or the child who recognizes it later on will experience. It gets me laughing every time.

Comment by susan carter on 2012-04-22 02:47:43 -0700 #

You spent all that money going to school knowing you were going to have to deal with some illiterate idiots.Maybe you need to go back to be a psychiatrist to help yourself because i’m not a Doctor and can dirgnose you. You are as Bipolar as they come. Get on some nedication for that and you may be able to deal with people. I know how it is because i’m Bipolar and have the same symptoms you do. I dont like to be around people myself. You don’t need a job working with the public until you get your ownself diagnosed properly. You dumb ass!!!!!