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A typical day fo rthe Angry Pharmacist

·1634 words·8 mins

Well, elections have come and gone. Im sure the drugnazi is just dancing his little happy liberal dance at the results. Yay for him, maybe he should give all of his paycheck to crackwhores and pregnant minorities so I dont have to. Drugnazi, you know I love you, now work harder so lazy welfare kings can afford the gas for their escalades.
Speaking of such, I managed to get the full gauntlet of idiotic patients today. Lets review:

  • A few days ago I got this call from this very angry (why are they always angry!!!) lady who said that someone she didnt know picked up her soma. Now the chances of a random person knowing that you had soma ready to go at OUR pharmacy is next to nill. So I printed out the sign log, and told her who picked it up. She claimed she didnt know that person, and that she wanted another refill because someone else got it. I politely informed her that we would have to pull the video footage of our signing area, and get all the evidence we could to turn into the police (this is a stolen abuseable Rx yanno). Total bullshit, I wasnt pulling anything for the police. The police dont waste their time with violent crime let alone narcotic theft! The moment i mentioned the word ‘Police’ she started backpedaling like nobodys business. She did not want the police involved, and she all of a sudden had an idea on who this person was who picked up her soma. Amazing! She called me today to happily say that she has her soma now, and that she knew who picked it up all along. Right, sure, feed me some more bullshit.
    • I got a patient who came in with one Rx for some ibuprofen. She then very angerly told me that there were three drugs on that piece of paper. When I politely showed her the written hard copy, she got very upset and produced a second Rx from her purse that had the other two Rx’s on it. This isnt easter kids, you arent supposed to hide the Rx’s and make me look for them.
      • We do medication for a childrens home in town. Most of the kids are on the state program, so they have zero copays. However some children have private insurance (through their parents) with copays. So the usual policy is we send a bill to the deadbeat parents for their kids copays and they pay us. I managed to get a call from a mental health faculity in a county not far from here asking about a patients copays. This woman who worked there made the DrugNazi look like Rush Limbaugh. She whined and moaned how the parents are going through ‘financial difficulties’, blah blah blah, and couldnt pay the $300 bill that their kid had rung up in copays for the last 4 months. So she has me fax over a bill so the county faculity could pay their bill because the parents couldnt. Excuse me, you had this child, obviously due to reason within or without your control it managed to get into a childrens home for neglicted or abused children. Now you have the balls (when you work and have private insurance) to get the county mental health facility to foot the bill for YOUR kids copays? Im sorry, but thats wrong. Really wrong. Why doesnt the county pay for my house payment? Hell, why doesnt the county just go communism and pay for everyones bills everywhere! What makes these people more special than the average working class who doesnt have that luxury? I know plenty of people (single moms) who are scraping by who refuse to go on the state program just because they have the self respect and dignity not to rely on someone else to take care of their problems – yet they get punished. Anyhoo, i faxed the bill over and are waiting for the check to come in the mail. I need to eat, and I need to pay MY bills. Plus 2/3rds of that check will just go right back to the feds anyways, so its just a bunch of circulatory masturbation.
        • Then we have our usual 400 lb woman stroll through the parking lot just fine, only to get hit by some magical pain-ray the moment she gets to the pharmacy doors. She grunts, and moans, and ‘unf’s’, wobbles, huffs, and everything else to show how much pain shes in. It honestly sounds like shes getting it in the ass, or shes giving birth to a 20lb chocolate mud baby. Once she gets her vicodin/soma/whatever, she unf’s and groans her way to the door, and upon hitting the parking lot, stands perfectly upright and magically waddles to her car like shes worth a million bucks. My pain management professor always said “The best assessment of a patients pain is the walk from the car to the pharmacy doors”. I guess this woman thought my eyesight stopped abruptly at the glass entrance.
          • To make today even better, a gentleman calls and asks if we could advance him some Norco until his doctor approves the refill. I (of course) say no. He then gets all bitchy with the clerks, and is “coming right over to have a talk with the pharmacist”. At this point in the day I really dont care anymore, so I wait until he comes in. Unfortunately I got stuck on the phone tracking down some doctor/narcotic shoppers, so the other pharmacist took care of it. He demanded we advance him some Norco citing that a pharmacy across town did it, so we could do it. Blah blah blah, yell yell yell, yeah, whatever. Hah, fat chance. He got all huffy, shot me a whole bunch of glares (to which i just smiled) and stormed out. When we got the authorization an hour and a half later, I added a $5 service charge to his copay for his attitude (the PIA fee).. 🙂
            • Just as we were about to close, we get the last-min shopper. This lady wanted to pick up an Rx for her Xanax. She had a copay because most medicare part D programs exclude this drug (and all in its class). She then very rudely told me that she never have had to pay a copay on this medication, and I was wrong. I very abruptly said “excuse me, but im looking at the computer here, and you have paid cash since 4/2003”. She didnt believe me. At this point I wished for those mental powers to blow someones head up. She insisted that she didnt pay a copay on this medication. I print out the ‘DRUG EXCLUDED FROM PLAN’ message and hand it to her. She suddenly remembered that she didnt pay for this medication and went on her merry way (paying her copay). *sigh*
              Thats what I have to deal with on a daily basis. No wonder why I drink!

Comments #

Comment by pharmacy tech gone postal on 2006-11-09 08:35:23 -0800 #

I swear we have the same customers. My favorite yesterday was the woman who brought me half a prescription. The part with the doctors name, her name etc were torn off, leaving just the drug and sig. I think this is taking patient privacy a bit too far, don’t you? I told her I needed to have the other half of the paper and she got all pissy and left. Good thing, cuz I really needed to bust out laughing over that one.

Comment by Rebecca on 2006-11-09 10:57:16 -0800 #

if you lived around me i would invite you out for a drink, some appetizers, and a good long bitch session. only pharmacists understand the pain of other pharmacists…my poor husband just stares at me when i rant. empathy is wonderful but it doesn’t compare to visceral loathing.
national conventions don’t afford many opportunities to tear apart the people we have pledged to help. maybe we need a secret club.

Comment by PMSsing Girl Pharmacist on 2006-11-13 04:54:13 -0800 #

Hey there AngryPharmacist. I feel ya.
I’m PMSsing, and the patients at work are consistently pissing me off!! Whining and yelling and gobbling up too many pain pills saying (and these are all actual excuses…”i dropped them down the sink” “i left them on the bus” I left them in New Orleans when i went to help the Hurricane Victims””I was in a car wreck and they impounded my vehicle””I had a party and they stole them from my medicine cabinet” “they got stolen out of my locker at the homeless shelter”… then SURPRISE! Urine Drug Screen shows they are negative for any vicodin in their urine (when they are supposed to be postive, and POSITIVE for cocaine!!) Hmmm, trading vicodin for crack, perhaps?? I wonder if a vicodin is considered a $1 increment in currency, or more like $5. LOOK FELLAS, MY GRANDMA IS FREAKIN’ 93 YEARS OLD, HAD A KNEE REPLACEMENT, SURVIVED COLON CANCER, WAS CHASED BY THE JAPANESE IN THE JUNGLE DURING WWII AND TAKES NOTHING BUT AN ALEVE, NOT EVEN 3 TIMES A WEEK! SO SUCK IT UP YOU PATHETIC, WHINY 50-YEAR-OLD MEN WHO STUB THEIR TOE AND PRESENT TO THE CLINIC FOR VICODIN 4 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING! YOU ARE SUCH FUCKING ASSHOLES! ahem.

Comment by g on 2006-11-13 11:58:51 -0800 #

Loved it loved it all ! wonderful blog !

Comment by MCWado on 2007-05-16 16:59:34 -0700 #

I know those people. And they are completely frustrating idiots who break the law. I’m a cancer survivor with a brain lesion that causes migraines. Sorry, but I’m going to keep taking my pain meds. My comment is that sometimes the pharmacists are so jaded that real pain patients are treated with inpatience.

The Angry Pharmacist
The Angry Pharmacist
Started this site in 2005 out of frustration that pharmacy school does not prepare you for dealing with the ungrateful unwashed public. Was hugely popular until life called and I had to take a break. Now I try to provide low brow potty humor that applies to the pharmacy population at large. Except you clinical fucks, go play doctor with your white coats and snobby attitude.