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I am Fatsomyalgia

·2349 words·12 mins

So I haven’t poked fun at The Angriest Pharmacist in a while.  You know, the pharmacist who ripped off my idea, “Mountain Misted” (instead of Mountain Dew) my domain name, put his site up doing *gasp* the same thing that I do etc.  Now, he is selling t-shirts with stuff that I made up on them.

Lets refresh everyones memory.  Back in May of last year when I made up Fatsomyalgia in my Fibromyalgia rant

I wonder if carrying all of that excess weight around has anything to
do with your chronic muscle pain?  Nothing a little soma and valium
wont fix!  Oh wait, we should feel sorry for them because they have
fibromyalgia.  Lets just rename the disease FATSOmyalgia and stop with
the candy-coating.

So, in response to his blatant douchebaggery, I got my crack team of internet lawyers together and we have come to the agreement that if The Angriest Pharmacist sells one of these fatsomyalgia t-shirts, he shall erect a shrine to me in his house *AND* give me 1/2 of the profits as a royalty.  That’s right, a shrine TO ME and enough change for me to go and buy a life.  He has agreed to the shrine and will take pictures to prove it.

angryPharm.jpgOn another note, I am working on TAP coffee mugs with my killer custom
logo on them for your coffee drinking pleasure.  Not just text, but a
hand drawn picture of a pharmacist shooting pills out of a machine-gun.

Stay tunes, bigger things are in the works.  However new-post notifications are broken until I can figure out why its blasting out old post notifications to everyone. 🙁

Comments #

Comment by Mallory on 2009-01-26 09:03:46 -0800 #

Congratulations on perpetuating the bigoted and judgemental attitute towards fribromyalgia.(Which is basically a catchall term for we-don’t-know-what’s-wrong-with-you)
Regards (translation: may you burn in hell)

Comment by Shalom (R.Ph.) on 2009-01-26 13:39:35 -0800 #

Yer t-shirt reminds me of

Comment by Carolyn J. on 2009-01-26 18:42:39 -0800 #

As for the shrine – may I suggest a lingam?

Comment by ERICA on 2009-01-26 18:57:16 -0800 #

Dearest Mallory: I am so sorry you are offended by this blog. (translation: If you are offended by what is said here then stay the hell off this site and don’t worry about what is said here. It is a place where pharmacists and technicians can vent so we can have patience when dealing with drug seekers and abusers, insurance companies and just your everyday patients who want to yell at us about things we have no control over.) p.s. don’t say maybe we should look for another job if we can’t handle it because there are a handful of people who actually make our jobs worth it! (we don’t talk about those people here) If any of you haters out there want to know whether or not you are considered a pain in the ass customer, next time you go to your pharmacy window…if you are greated with an eye-roll or a forced smile and a “what can we do for you?” followed by a sigh…you are the reason we have this site!

Comment by pharmacy chick on 2009-01-26 20:09:04 -0800 #

Geez, I never know what to think about you two, you certainly provide amusing fodder.
I sit with my red wine and wonder what your statue might look like. A man, viewing the horizon in a flowing white coat flipping the bird to all who might view him?

Comment by Doreen on 2009-01-26 21:10:34 -0800 #

Mallory: I have fibro. I’m taking the fatsomyalgia thing with a grain of salt. Without a sense of humor, even to poke fun at oneself or the sometimes unfortunate circumstances of life, it wouldn’t be worth living. If I had diabetes, I hope I’d have the security to laugh at the diabetic stereotype.
The majority of those with any sort of medical education will probability give at least a little validity to fibro. However, you’re reading the wrong blogs if you can’t understand pharmacy (especial retail) is a skeptical, cynical crowd.
In summary, lighten up.

Comment by TheAngriestPharmacist on 2009-01-27 00:34:04 -0800 #

Mallory, you are supposed to shovel the Vicodin in your mouth, not up your snatch. Shut the fuck up and do us all a favor and stop “spilling your Somas in the turlet.”
We are perpetuating it because it’s fun. Like you and your Oxycodone pounding punkass friends don’t sit around and bash “the little nerdy pharmacist with the glasses that does nothing more than count by fives and try and play doctor.”
The same people we stereotype will sit there and lump us all together for fucking stereotyping them as drug seeking-addict-fucks.
It’s kind of like the chicken and the egg, which came first. The drug seeker or the pharmacist?
It doesn’t really matter though — because I know that the pharmacist won’t end up in prison or detox. (in most cases…:-)
[BTW, my CAPTCHA is ‘for purity’ — as I tell a drug seeker to shove a Vicodin up the hole north of her taint.]

Comment by Shy Intern on 2009-01-27 17:23:44 -0800 #

LOL @ Angriest’s Vicodin comment.

Comment by drh on 2009-01-28 08:19:17 -0800 #

You’re right on TAP. When I weighed 110 lbs. more and laid on the couch all the time, my whole fuckin’ body ached. Did I have fibromyalgia? I don’t know. Maybe–except I didn’t identify it as a disabling problem and recognized it for what it was so I think, by definition, no. I stopped eating crap and got my lardass to the Y, and now just my knees ache. Did I ache a lot in the process of getting my huge body in better shape? You betcha. Did I take Vicodin and Soma? No f-ing way. I don’t care what size you are, your fibromyalgia will probably get better if you get moving. You will probably sleep better, too. Will you ache in the process? Yes. Everybody aches. A lot of us have a LOT of pain. We put up with it. We take some ibuprofen and use an ice pack. That’s the difference between us and you.
I know they’ll hate me for this, but if they just consider for a second that I might be right, they could really benefit!

Comment by Roger on 2009-01-28 13:26:01 -0800 #

just wanted to know if you would be open to selling advertising on your blog. Please reply to me if you are interested. I could not find an email on site which is why I am using this form to contact you. Please feel free to delete this comment

Comment by FillMaster-5000 on 2009-01-29 02:32:14 -0800 #

Where can I buy one of those coffee mugs?

Comment by Jmerph on 2009-01-29 16:43:34 -0800 #

Hey TAP, Did you know there is a fan group for you on facebook? You have over 3000 members! By the way – would LOVE an angry pharmacist coffee mug.

Comment by KDUBZ on 2009-01-30 07:49:08 -0800 #

Pain is part of life people! Maybe we should just start an island for all those who want to go through life completely drugged up so that the rest of us do not have to deal with them!

Comment by Dave the Doc on 2009-01-31 08:37:26 -0800 #

The different between you and that pissant ripoff lowlife ego maniacal self absorbed little shitlip cocksucking asshole that stole your name and idea? Simple, you are the original, have a sense of humor and are fun to read. The angriest pharmacist is nothing more than a hate filled little cock worshiping ripoff artist, and one that has no sense of humor or irony to boot.
TAP is the man, TAngriestP (aka the ripoff shitbag) is a useless, screechy little shit. I will take TAP anytime – TAP has some insightful, and often very intelligent, observations about this insanity that we are all trapped in masquerading as the medical field. The angriest pharmacist has, well, a website. Sort of. A useless one.

Comment by Another Angry RPh on 2009-01-31 13:49:21 -0800 #

OK, I really want one of those coffee mugs, actually I want a go-cup so I can take it with me and let everyone know that I, too, am an angry pharmacist! Seriously, I want one, if you need us to pre-order or something just let us know!

Comment by Blonde Pharmacist on 2009-02-01 09:20:32 -0800 #

Hmm…. I may know you after all!

Comment by Bill on 2009-02-09 17:37:22 -0800 #

Sweet. I’ll buy a few, it’s the least I can do.
It’d be cooler if you shot those pills that they give you for opiate overdoses out of the gun just b/c I’m sure it would piss off your antagonists a little more.

Comment by HospitalPharm on 2009-03-19 11:56:03 -0700 #

Seriously, sell those mugs! I’m in for 2, and I would bet half of my fellow pharmacists would be, too.

Comment by Heather on 2009-05-13 08:51:10 -0700 #

You folks should be ashamed to call yourselves professionals.

I had lost 175lbs when my fibromyalgia symptoms flared enough for me to KNOW that something was really wrong. I’d been exercising 3-4 times per week for 45 mins to an hour, and I was eating high fiber/lean protein (DASH diet – dietary approaches to stop hypertension).

I was the healthiest I’d ever been in my life and why am I 250lbs now? Because it took doctors 3 years to diagnose me! I was 24 years old when I started noticing symptoms.

This is another “blame the patient” issue. Are they so hard on diabetics? Maybe they are. If so, they should re-think their career choice.

I’ve seen my fair share of overweight doctors. A little extra around the middle. I had a doctor who lost weight and he knew it was a real struggle. Just because you’ve got lots of schooling doesn’t make you any LESS human or MORE entitled to judge others!

Hrm… as people get older, they get struggle more with their weight. How many times have we heard that? Well, maybe it’s because we have more ailments as we age AND WE BECOME LESS ACTIVE because we don’t feel as well! And fibromyalgia tends to go undiagnosed for years, so we’ve had time to accumulate our weight.

I wonder what medical schools are teaching these people to forget that their patients are human?

The research that is being done will help us. Unlike people with attitudes like yours.


Comment by phrex on 2009-07-16 19:02:54 -0700 #


Comment by ally on 2010-02-13 13:33:17 -0800 #

Last week, my last pharmacist ( AKA CUNT ) swore /insisted/remembered that she gave me my prescription . I went home, thought about it. DId I really pick it up, am I going NUTS.?

I called 20 minutes before her closing the store, I said Nooooooooooo I did not pick up my prescription, you MUST be mistaken. CAN YOU PLEASE GO LOOK. She came back to the phone said she had it and I better hurry up because they are closing. WHAT WHAT WH AT… after her making an error, did she just tell ME to hurry up???

That CUNT lost a loyal customer, and I went to a BIG REtail chain.


Comment by L.T. on 2010-02-16 01:29:32 -0800 #

I happened upon this while looking for information on the savella recall issue(don’t take it, just wanted to keep up) so don’t bother to tell me not to read here again since it was a chance encounter. You should remember that people who make much less money than you at your big box locations have to deal with the same bs and attitude at the front counter. Work is hard. Is this your first job or something? People are annoying, mean, and they lie??? I’ll alert the waiters, retail clerks, police, teachers, nurses, judges etc… right away! It is so sad that the pharmacist minority is suffering so much and in apparent silence, banished to the blogs. I am weeping for your oppression.

As to those posters who think they are doctors who have decided fibromyalgia patients are too lazy to handle pain, I think you misunderstand what FMS is. It is not occasional aches or muscle tension. It’s all the time, moderate to severe pain (like you just got a workout in after a month or two of being lazy), all over, and is with me every morning until I go to bed at some level even with treatment.

And I am not over 100 pounds overweight like poster “drh” above so your “advice” is meaningless. So am I supposed to strap ice to my body all day long at work? And taking tylenol or other otc pain pills(which are made for the occasional ache) everyday would be bad for my organs. And I do exercise as well as keep a full time job so I think I qualify as “moving”around. any other gems to share?

So, mr. whiny pharmacist, and everyone else here who knows nothing about chronic pain, I really hope you never feel it. Because I would not wish it on anyone (except maybe child molesters or something). And next time I see the people at my pharmacy and they smile and we greet each other by name and they ask about my job, my day, etc… I will appreciate them all the more and pray that I never encounter a cockbite like you.

side note-my pharmacist stereotype, if I can call it that, was not a nerdy bill counter. All the pharmacy students at my college(which has a major medical school) that were in my dorm were the big pot dealers, and another pharm student I knew later loved “inventory day” when he would swipe the pain meds and whatever else he wanted for fun. But I never thought to extend that typing to all pharmacy workers.

Comment by Nyk Kelly on 2017-12-12 11:00:01 -0800 #

you’re an ASS.