Table of Contents
According to the scientific trends that every pharmacist sees every day in a retail settings, the future of humanity will possess 3 major characteristics:
- Morbidly Obese (I’ll just use the “offensive” term FAT from here on out)
You see, characteristics #1 and #2 GUARANTEE (as in Billy Mays and the Sham-WOW guy GUARANTEE) that they will copulate with anything. This is 100% fact, that the fat and ugly will have sex with ANYTHING that says yes. This applies to both male and female. Note that you must be both FAT and UGLY. I realize that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder, blah blah blah”, but how many butt-ass ugly women come into your store with a hoard of children who tear apart your shelves? Yeah; they put out, that’s how they got those fuck trophies.
Characteristic #3 will GUARANTEE that they will not use any sort of contraception, common sense, or planning. It also GUARANTEES that they will be on welfare for the rest of their lives. I realize that I’m painting with a broad brush here (who? me? never!); but how hard is it to get some FREE birth control or FREE condoms and USE THEM. How hard is it to say no? Pregnancy isn’t some magical mystical force where we really “aren’t sure” how babies are made, nor is it some knowledge reserved for college people like Krebs Cycle.
Now, due to overly-simplified-and-made-up-genetics, the offspring of 2 fat/ugly/stupid people will have a 75% chance of being fat/ugly/stupid UNLESS their parents have some sort of combo-breaker recessive gene that halts this downward spiral. Rare chance I know, but when you have a litter of 6 like some of these women do, that gene HAS to surface. Therefore 1 out of 4 children will grow up to be successful members of society who’s tax dollars are going towards his/her 3 fat/ugly/stupid welfare brethren whom are breeding out of control.
The time is now people. Swine flu isn’t a pandemic, but the breeding of the fat/ugly/stupid is!
Comment by Pierre Lourens on 2009-05-10 08:26:31 -0700 #
Well stated. They are taking over the world, and it’s something not even Tony Little could solve.
Comment by Dante on 2009-05-10 08:40:47 -0700 #
Tax children. Or make a one chile policy like China. My personal favorite: sterilze them.
Comment by CPhT HH on 2009-05-10 10:11:49 -0700 #
“…nor is it some knowledge reserved for college people like Krebs Cycle.”
Really? Try working in a college pharmacy. NOBODY can find Rx numbers (I threw the bottle/pack away!), what medication(s) they’re on, how to refill birth control (or ANY Rx for that matter) in a timely manner or how to roll on a condom. Freshman girls literally do not understand the words ‘prophylactic’ and ‘contraception’. We dispense Plan B like candy, but I’d rather do that than have them reproduce.
Comment by The Ole’ Apothecary on 2009-05-10 11:55:55 -0700 #
This is not meant to be a measure of modern clinical competence in pharmacy, but a colleague of mine, who has a Pharm.D. (I do not) was reading a physician’s chart note which read, in part, “The patient is moribund.” She did not know the meaning of “moribund.” I immediately said, “The patient is dying.” I never thought of “moribund” as a word limited to Taber’s Medical Dictionary. Quite a few non-science writers use it.
Comment by Amanda on 2009-05-10 13:22:06 -0700 #
True true! And although I hate the movie, this reminds me of the concept of Idiocracy. I hate to say it, but I think it has some truth to it as far as the educated either not reproducing at all, or only having a few kids. My smart friends and I went to college, everyone else got pregnant. (well, if they were female!)
Comment by sickofstupidpeople on 2009-05-10 13:43:03 -0700 #
You and “Ms Mean” have been reading each others minds, haven’t you???
Comment by rph3664 on 2009-05-10 15:29:02 -0700 #
I was also thinking of “Idiocracy” when I saw this. Weird thing is, I saw it about a week before the election. Yes, in the movie the U.S. has a black president, but Obama he ain’t! I saw a few minutes of it on Comedy Central (sanitized, of course) and half the words on the Teleprompter were fuzzied out.
I often wonder how some of these people ever managed to have sex in the first place, lights on or off.
Comment by michael on 2009-05-10 15:43:05 -0700 #
and not only stupid,,,add rude,,cell phone use…drive thru abuse..and no matter what happens…the physician was stupid, not them
Comment by Gregthepharmer on 2009-05-10 20:12:25 -0700 #
My favorite thing is when said stupid people have the knowledge to inform me of what my job is. I had a person submit a prescription for Ovide lotion with instructions to dispense enough for the entire family and of course it is a case of our tax dollars hard at work. I tried to do the right and legal thing and call the doctor and get Rx’s for the whole lice-infested family and the physician would only OK an Rx for the 2 family members which had actually been seen in the clinic (Imagine the NERVE of this doctor actually wanting to see and assess the patients he would prescribe for!). I called the phone number and the man that answered the phone proceeded to tell me that it was my job to fill the prescription as it was written. After informing him that first, he wasn’t qualified to tell me what my job is and second that I would be committing Medicaid fraud, he threatened to “kick my ass” and that he was going to call our corporate office (which he did). My DM contacted me to find out what had happened and told me that I had acted properly and to handle it as I like, which I called him again and told him that he was more than welcome to come and pick up his prescription and that I would not be filling it. He threatened to “kick my ass” again so i had the police department on stand by, and lo and behold he bravely sent in his girlfriend to get the prescription.
Comment by dave on 2009-05-10 22:58:05 -0700 #
this is why when i become head of illinois dept of human services, it’s mandatory birth control for everyone! if you want to live off the state tit, fine. every month when you come in to get your public aid card/food stamps/etc., get a depo-provera shot. if you don’t have your shit together enough to support yourself on your own, you shouldn’t be bringing others into the world.
public officials reading this blog, feel free to run with this idea.
Comment by drh on 2009-05-11 06:56:35 -0700 #
I’ve said it many times. We have short-circuited natural selection. With welfare, motorcycle helmets, seatbelt laws, Level One trauma centers, and many other things that allow stupid people, who should have otherwise died, to live and pass on their genes.
Comment by Dr. Grumpy on 2009-05-11 10:47:15 -0700 #
“The ideal population is like an iceberg. Nine-tenths of it below the water”.
– Aldous Huxley, BRAVE NEW WORLD
Comment by jonathan on 2009-05-11 11:13:06 -0700 #
haha. i love this site. i myself hate dumb fucks. dumb people who don’t take a bath are the ones that really piss me the fuck off. I know some people are really off in the head but some are just dumb. What i really don’t understand is why that dumb people can’t bathe. come on people soap don’t cost that much.
Comment by KrissySmilesEveryOnceAndAwhile on 2009-05-11 19:58:25 -0700 #
LOL that was good.. I stumbled upon your site its great. I love the plavix reps one.. So i have a request for your next blog!! Phone Sales reps.. I want to know what you really think about them!!!
Comment by OhioPharmer on 2009-05-11 20:07:51 -0700 #
Isn’t it funny how that ugly, obese and stupid people populate the earth and then wonder why society is going to hell? I completely agree with Dave…If you can’t get yourself together, then you should not be taking care of another human being, and neither should the rest of us. On top of their stupidity, we must pay for their irresponsible actions due to the lack of self control. Besides not paying attention in health class about how babies are made, I wonder if they ever learned what self control was, as in don’t spread your legs or put it any everything that walks by you and breaths. A license should be required to reproduce.
Comment by 2BAPharmD on 2009-05-12 11:47:32 -0700 #
There are licenses for almost everything in our society, from driving to becoming licensedor certified in pretty much any career that has any modicum of responsibility associated with it. Parenthood should not be any exception.
But with what mechanism do we limit “unfit” parents’ reproduction? Mandatory Depo-Provera? An electronic computer chip remotely activated that prevents egg production and/or sperm production? Reversible chemical castration?
And how often is the license administered and by whose criteria are we tested by and at what age?
I love the idea, as the people most fit to procreate simply aren’t. But the enactment and implementation of any sort of program that limits Cletus and Shnaiqua from churning out kids like an assembly line will be deemed unconstitutional.
I like the idea of mandatory Depo shots for welfare recipients but Depo is not without health risks including bone density loss in long term use. Maybe Implanon?
first time responder, long time reader of TAP, love the new layout! and I too would love to see your opinion on pharmacy sales reps!!
Comment by Steve on 2009-05-12 21:25:58 -0700 #
I like it!!!!! Cost “us” a lot less in the future.
Comment by chris on 2009-05-13 05:17:12 -0700 #
If the stupid/fat/ugly is a pandemic, does that mean I can tell my patients not to come in and stay at home because most of them are showing symptoms of this disease.
Comment by rph3664 on 2009-05-13 10:45:39 -0700 #
The greatest case against parenting tests come from a husband and wife I know who are both pharmacists. They are probably the worst parents I have ever seen.
I will not give any more details because it might identify them, beyond stating that CPS will NEVER open a file on a family with an annual income approaching $300,000.
Comment by 2BAPharmD on 2009-05-13 13:42:05 -0700 #
I don’t think anyone will argue that income level automatically creates an excellent household or that intelligence by itself is a predictor of parenting skill. that is why I made it clear in my post that the type of test would have to be thoroughly tested for reliability and validity. do I know what it should be? No.. but that doesn’t mean I cannot support it as an idea or wish.
And besides, in your case of the poor parenting Pharmacists, whose definition of good parenting are you going by? some consider raising children with Dr. Laura books is “good”, after all.
Comment by LifeandtimesTech on 2009-05-13 16:45:42 -0700 #
Yeah I go through a box or two a day while school is in session here. Best one ever was a few days ago tho.
Plan B. Dispense 2 boxes. Use as directed q 5 days prn.
TWENTY REFILLS? 40 BOXES of plan B?
(Yes, we called, yes that was what the MD wanted.)
Sorry, One box with 5 refills is max for medicaid, thanks.
Next time, might I just suggest going on the pill?
Comment by Anna on 2009-05-13 16:57:46 -0700 #
I just wanted to tell you how much your site makes me laugh. I’m one of those “clinical” pharmacists you rant about, but i like to think I have half a brain. I’m old, so the creases are out of my lab coat and the idealism is long gone. Actually, I just tell people what to do now, but whatever. You provide endless entertainment for anyone who has to deal directly with patients…no matter where they practice.
I do hate this dark background I’m typing on.
Comment by Lenin on 2009-05-14 02:24:13 -0700 #
Dark backgrounds are better, easier on the eyes. I can’t decide if this captcha image is saying “combover” or “cumover”
Comment by wpa on 2009-05-14 06:56:45 -0700 #
Another post I will print and put in the bathroom for my husband to read.No wait,are you my husband? You seem to share all views on all things.You should plan a pharmacist bar crawl…except no one would come because they are too busy.Thank you for the time you take to make pharmacists smile.
Comment by yellowgamer on 2009-05-14 23:05:29 -0700 #
I LOL’ed at depo-provera shot, that’s ingenious!
Comment by Ryno on 2009-05-15 02:55:57 -0700 #
…long time reader, first time to comment…
Just wanted to let you know Mr. The Angry Pharmacist…you have managed to introduce terminology that we use on a daily basis, as common as slang, in the pharmacy…day in and day out…
while I’m sure you’d be healthier if you weren’t SO angry, but then again this is the Angry Pharmacist and the anger/indignation/honesty is what makes this blog so great.
Thank you for what you do!
Comment by Dave Folsom on 2009-05-15 11:57:30 -0700 #
OMG! This is what I’ve been saying for years, that the “fat, lazy, and stupid” are exponentially inheriting the planet; all the while the dwindling minority making responsible life choices get saddled with both the financial and social fallout.
Comment by sumotoad on 2009-05-15 16:39:24 -0700 #
You don’t get thoroughbreds by breeding donkeys. We should not circumvent darwinian selection by artificial means such as medicaid…
Comment by RxScott on 2009-05-15 18:19:24 -0700 #
Everyone should see the movie “Idiocracy”
Touches on TAP perspective on the future of humanity
Comment by Laura CPht on 2009-05-16 11:41:32 -0700 #
Ok, so what you are saying is kinda true,But, have you ever thought that maybe these people just spend alot more time going to the drs, filling scripts, etc. because it is on our dime? The general population is not like this. I wonder where your pharmacy is located.
Comment by Ed on 2009-05-16 21:29:33 -0700 #
Dave beat me to it. Nobody’s saying Cletus and Shaniqua Can’t pollute the gene pool. Just that they will lose their entitlements by doing so. I call it the your check or your child policy.
Comment by WhoLovesWelfare on 2009-05-17 11:14:43 -0700 #
The best part about the whole birth control situation? If you have Medicaid, it will cover Mirena. Yes, Mirena, the five-year IUD. If you are poor and get pregnant, you get Medicaid. When you go in for your six-week postpartum checkup, you can get five years of birth control FOR FREE.
FFS, what the hell is wrong with people?
Comment by Chuck in MI on 2009-05-18 06:05:13 -0700 #
You would be correct. College freshmen girls have a higher percentage of “cluelessness”. I worked in a computer lab in college 1987-1991, and it was mostly the freshman girls that asked the dumbest questions, like “How do you make a capital M?” They had never used a typewriter or computer before.
These were mostly middle-class girls with over-protective fathers.
Comment by Chuck in MI on 2009-05-18 06:10:26 -0700 #
Birth control is not the best solution as they will forget to use it. Sterilization is the best idea.
Comment by Wil da Pil on 2009-05-21 17:15:51 -0700 #
Draconian or not, the insta-IUD (Mirena) at age 12 is a great idea. Once the reproductive / procreative examination is passed by the prospective mother, the IUD is then be removed. At $350 every 5 years until menopause, it’s the best welfare dollars ever spent.
Comment by bernie on 2009-05-21 19:15:07 -0700 #
you are a narrow minded bigot jerk!!!!!!
Comment by bernie on 2009-05-21 19:19:04 -0700 #
you are one narrow minded jerk……..you need a swift kick in the butt!!!
Comment by Peon on 2009-05-27 19:35:58 -0700 #
Welfare should not be free. Anyone on welfare should not be able to procreate and get welfare.
Comment by rph3664 on 2009-05-28 14:10:48 -0700 #
I seriously doubt that National Spelling Bee #3 will be a pharmacist. Here’s why.
Someone else got “naproxen” wrong.
Comment by MOOP on 2009-06-01 17:31:00 -0700 #
That’s Awesome!! I love that movie…Not like I do!! But anyway, this blog made me immediately think of this movie, also!
Comment by Jessica Cavallaro on 2009-06-12 19:17:23 -0700 #
Side effects? Who gives a shit (at least for those who accept state assistance!). Others should have a choice, but the idea is fabulous and I’m all for it! But unfortunately, you are right, any such implementation would definately be deemed unconstitutional….
Comment by Jessica Cavallaro on 2009-06-12 19:20:20 -0700 #
Comment by Betsy R on 2010-12-01 10:18:18 -0800 #
The problem with welfare is one has to have a child to get it. Then the door is open to other goodies: free food, housing, etc.
The theory is the child should not have to suffer because of the parent.
The reality is the child suffers because of the parent and does not associate something as basic as food with WORK.
When I worked in welfare, I often thought perhaps only letting childless people get welfare would cut the birthrate.