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Greed, stupidity, and phony Rx’s

·1369 words·7 mins

Idiots, all of them idiots. Prescription forgers and people who cheat the system.
Today I had one helluva day dealing with the con-artists of the pharmacy world.
A patient came in today with an Rx for some Vicodin and Soma (what else). So I bill Medicare Part D for them, and lo-and-behold a month supply was filled at another pharmacy 4 days ago.
A quick call to the insurance company gave me the name of the other pharmacy that filled it. Here’s what the dumbass was doing.
Going to Doctor A and getting the Rx’s filled at Pharmacy A. Then they were going to Doctor B and getting those filled at Pharmacy B. With me so far?
Being a dumbass, last month she told pharmacy A (not my store) to use her Medicare Part D Card to pay for the Rx’s.. She then proceeds to bring Doctor A’s prescription to my store (Pharmacy B). See where this is going? I look at her profile, and I see that shes getting narcotics from both Dr A and B. Ah-ha!
There is a deep rooted joy when I get to call a doctors office to Narc on someone being a dumbass. I dont know if its the “oh really?” I get on the other end of the phone, or just the joy in crossing out the Rx with a big CANCELED and handing it back to the patient. Maybe its the look on the patients face when they come in wanting to see if its ready and I tell them they need to call the office at once.
Well this pile-o-crap burned two bridges that day, because both doctors cut her off. Of course she called Dr A from the pharmacy, and gave some sob story on how she lost her medication, blah blah blah, boo hoo boo hoo. Needless to say this Doctor has heard all of this before from every other crackhead around and I believe gave her the flying boot to the ass..
The world is a bit safer now because of me. Asshats.
The second notch on my narc-patrol bedpost came from a dildo who handed me an Rx from a Dentist in town that looked like this:
Vicodin 10. #90. 1-2t q4-6 prn.
Now why would a general dentist (not even an oral surgeon) be giving #90? Oh right, because the greedy fucker snagged the doctors pad and wrote it himself! Thats why!
Quick call to the doctors office gave me the “oh fuck no, thats a phony” response, upon which we told the asshat that the police were on their way, and that they would give him a free ride downtown. Needless to say he gracefully walked out of the store and into a car with new-car licence plates.
Why do people who scam the system always get caught because of greed? If its not #90 vicodin from a dentist, its 10 refills from the ER, or Oxycontin on a regular Rx pad. I swear, if they would just stick to smaller quanities that are believeable, and take the phonies for #20 vicodin to every pharmacy in town (while paying cash) they would have been scott free. You would think they would wise up, but I guess a good phony is one that’s never caught.
I always wonder if any pharmacists turn to the dark side and just start writing out or calling in phonies. They know the lingo, they know the red flags, they would commit the perfect crime. Of course any pharmacist after narcs would just snag a bottle of Vicodin from the back room and do the same thing with 1/4th the effort.

Comments #

Comment by anony on 2006-04-18 23:15:35 -0700 #

ahaha.. i’m a pharmacy student here.
I love your post! It’s funny, it’s witty, it cracks me up.
Am dying to commit my ‘perfect crime’ one day.. *winks*

Comment by pharmacist2 on 2006-05-12 09:24:55 -0700 #

The answer to your question is “Yes”, I know if a pharmacist personally that turned to the “dark side”
I’m a pharmacist myself and the first time I met him, I thought, ‘this guy is up to no good’…fit the “profile” if you know what I mean:

Comment by LTLMISKIS on 2006-05-25 12:44:32 -0700 #

Here’s one for you. We caught a county sheriff turning in phoney rx’s!! Now his sorry ass is in jail for a whopping 20 days!!! He was going to at least 9 different doctors and pharmacies in the area that they know of. He left his original cut and paste copies in his desk when he resigned.
Then there was another sheriff from the same county who was robbing pharmacies and check cashing places at gun point!! Can we say dumbshits?!?!

Comment by TED on 2006-12-09 11:25:55 -0800 #

I have been on pain killers for years i called in my monthly re fills norco soma ativan and blood press rx well i called it in 5 days before i was due to let the pharmacy have time to fax the dr etc well a few days went by i called the automated system and they filled the soma only so i went the next day to pick it up and asked if the dr called in my other pills all i was told was its too soon to fill ok i understand but did the dr call back alls i got was its too soon so the weekend was coming up i wanted to make sure i was going to get my pills for the weekend because i would be out on saturday morning so i called my dr and asked her to call the pharmacy to re fill she said ok then the dr called me back in 5 minutes and said i have refills you just have to wait until saturday to get them it would be nice if the pharmacy could of just told me this but alls they said was its too soon well i picked them up saturday and every rx says 2 refills left i think they screwed up in there computer and added refills to my rx and they never even called my dr so i had 3 refills all along no wonder why they kept telling me its too soon but maybe the dr authourized 3 refills but if so its the first time in 3 years this happened next month i will transfer all my rx back to my pharmacy i use at least they always tell me yes your dr authourized refills but i cannot fill it until such date instead i was treated like a drug seeker at the pharmacy why cant they just explain things i hope they did screw up and gave me 3 re fills by mistake that way i dont have to be aggraviated next month i can just call it in the day before its due and i will know they will be ready at least for the next couple of months

Comment by NONYA on 2007-07-02 19:22:20 -0700 #

Dude, you are so rude! You first have no idea what these people are going through, sure there are many people that abuse the system, but not ALL!! I SUGGEST YOU FIND A NEW JOB!! BECAUSE obvisouly you don’t give a goddamn about your patients! You Must be Republican Too!! You make me SICK! Judging these people like this!! GO TO HELL

Comment by Kim F on 2007-09-27 20:34:38 -0700 #

I totally disagree with Nonya.
You’re NOT RUDE, you’re realistic and there has to be some safe place you can vent your frustrations.
I do have one complaint, however: when I visited a downtown clinic two years ago because of sudden right knee pain (the left one had already been diagnosed with joint problems), I was treated like a drug-seeker.
I couldn’t believe my ears.
This doctor had NEVER seen me before; I have no background at all of any substance abuse, and I deeply resented the blind assumption this ‘convenience store doctor’ made of me.
WHY is it automatically concluded that all pain is faked in order to obtain narcotics?
Can’t a doctor judge character better than THAT???

The Angry Pharmacist
The Angry Pharmacist
Started this site in 2005 out of frustration that pharmacy school does not prepare you for dealing with the ungrateful unwashed public. Was hugely popular until life called and I had to take a break. Now I try to provide low brow potty humor that applies to the pharmacy population at large. Except you clinical fucks, go play doctor with your white coats and snobby attitude.