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Stupidity, Doctors, and Drug Reps

·2610 words·13 mins

I know I havent updated in a bit, but to be honest I havent been really angry about anything new and exciting to rant about! I know you would all /hate/ to see me rehash something over and over (*ahem*non-english-speakers*ahem*) but never fear, stupidty came to the rescue!
All pharmacists have been in this situation before:
You’re working along; pissed off at the smelly twat in front of you who wants her soma filled 3 weeks early, when in walks this nicely dressed guy/gal in a suit and tie (or low cut dress and skirt) and just waltz’ right up to the counter.
Your thoughts?

  • Shit! State Board! Make a few techs “clerk typists” and put your name badges on! HOLY SHIT HIDE THE OUTDATES!
    • Auditors! God dammit!
      • Another /FUCKING/ drug rep to waste my time.
        I rate drug reps about one step lower than used car salesmen. At least used car salesmen know they dont know shit. Drug reps think they know everything under the sun about whatever crap they are throwing back up at you. Its downright silly sometimes. I know some have “degrees” and that crap, but honestly, a drug rep compared to a pharmacist in the therapeutic and pharmacology department.
        The worse part is that the doctors just gobble this shit up like no tomorrow. Do doctors have rocks in their heads? Oh wait, we all know the answer to this. Why will a doctor listen to some two-bit twat with a low cut shirt about some drug she has /no/ idea how it works or who covers it and not your local neighborhood pharmacist who deals with this shit day in an day out. Oh wait, we all know the answer to this one too. I need to grow some tits or something.
        Doctors are idiots. They will use a product for 20 years without any complaints, but will switch at the drop of a hat when some big tittied blonde comes waltzing in with her porno high heels on. They say “ooooh, but the studies show this one is better.. ooooooooooh”. Look who funded the study you dumbshit, of course its going to say its better when the drug company pushing the shit is footing the bill for the study! When do you see a published paper about a drug where the funding company’s product rates lower than the ‘gold standard’. Wait…. Ultracet, my bad again.
        Now dont get me wrong. This only applies to the /new/ drug reps. We had one in the other day, threw some nice pens on the counter and proceeded to bullshit with the two other pharmacists who have known him for 30 years. Not once did he want to talk to me about a ‘study’ that shows ‘my product’ to be superior to ‘their product’. He asked how we’re doing, if we needed anything, and off he went. Excellent.
        The new ones however will throw a fistful of studies in your face showing how their product is “better”. Who reads these fucking studies? Its like reading Romeo and Juliet and being surprised that they die at the end! Or watching a Keanu Reeves movie and expecting some good acting! Or reading this blog and expecting me to be happy! We all know they arent going to give you studies that shows their product preforming worse than the current therapies, so why bother reading them.
        The best is this new product, I think its called “Proquin XR” or some bullshit like that. Its basically Cipro in a once daily treatment for UTI. Big warnings in the magazines: “THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTION FOR THIS PRODUCT”. My ass their isnt. One phone call saying that this $6/pill magic wonder isnt covered and its getting substuted for a 10 day run of generic cipro for $9 out the door. Drug companies can blow me with their “NO SUB” bullshit. I’m going to fucking sub it regardless what your paper says (with doctor or whatever numbskull will say yes and give me their name’s okay of course).
        I hate drug reps so much that when I go to their verbal-masturbation sessions (ie: Free Dinners), I order the most expensive thing on the menu even if I dont like it. Hey, i’m bitter, but i’m not an idiot. A free dinner is a free dinner, and i’ll sleep through a talk to get a $75/plate dinner that I would never have by myself.
        Why do drug reps even come into my work. As if i’m going to do what they say. Thats about as smart as refilling a vicodin prescription because the patient said “I talked with the doctor, and he said it was okay to fill”.. “dur dee dur, okay! heres your refill.. duuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”….
        The best are the test-machine reps. They come in with their little name-tag, and their little briefcase with their little meters in them. They want me to sit down so they can show me how the meters work (as if I cant figure it out on my own, yanno how different all 10000 meters on the market are). Then they explain to me how wonderful theirs is compared with all the other ones, blah blah blah. Then they give me some post-its (which I like), and those cheap plastic pens. They act all shocked and confused when I ask for the “doctors pens”. You all know, the really heavy ones that come in a nice velvet sleeve. The ones they dont give to us piddly pharmacist. Some just lie and say they dont have any, upon which I ask for the one they are using. Others pony up and walk out to the car to either retrieve one pen, or just get in and drive off leaving me high and dry. I think i’d warm up to drug reps a bit more if they said “oh, if you use this product, i’ll go wash your car!” or “I’ll give you a backrub if you use product X”. “Need the floor swept? Think of Diovan!”
        Doctors need to start prescribing based upon good judgement and their pharmacological training (haaaaaa haaaa!) and not based upon what some dirty multi-kerzillion dollar company tells them to prescribe.

Comments #

Comment by Pharm Student in Toronto on 2006-09-17 17:40:40 -0700 #

A friend referred me to your site, and I’m glad she did, because your blog is hilarious!

Comment by Tammy Cooley on 2007-09-06 10:41:16 -0700 #

I am in Chronic pain. I used to be able to get the brand M.S. Contin made by Perdue. My insurance card tells me I pay 65.00 for brand.LIE< LIE< LIE about 428.00 worth. The Generic does not work on one who has been on narcotics for years. We have tried Letters, Phone calls, review boards only to find SECRET numbers as well as tackticks only known by the secret screw you insurance company’s. They are your doctor. It sucks. The only reason I could get brand is if I was allergic to the generic. If they are the same how can this be?
Fed up and in crazy pain
Ms. Cooley

Comment by ALeungdonhealyou on 2008-08-01 18:39:22 -0700 #

Hear out my bash on doctors…
Sometimes, I think doctors has too much control….
Yes, they should just be called “Higher Beings” (Not bringing in any religion, cause the blog is not about religion)
I’m Diabetic and want another opinion. I couldn’t get it because by signing my life away and branding my “Higher Being” to be just the only BEING that can manage my LIFE! I couldn’t go to another doctor without feeling like I’m going through some affair. I just want to better my life with more guidence and of course, as intellegent as I am with out a PHD or ABCDEFGs… up my other hole, second opinions are greatly appreciated.
Unfortunately, most doctors dislikes patients that did not sign their life to them. If I ever need an advice. I am always stuck with one BEING’s opinion and because that’s the only ONE BEING that can see me…. I can only see the specialist that only this BEING knows and THINK that is good for me. It feels as if doctors are like mothers because they went to school for being a mother? Why do they have this kind of control over my life? It’s not by choice I am diabetic, and it’s not fun being one either. Please stop being “Your 10 mins are up, I’ll see you in 2 weeks dicks” and start useing their PHDs and ABCDEFGs! …..
So what if I signed my life to this ONE doctor! Why can’t other doctors be more professional and just try to heal me!? It’s better off to “Internet” myself back to health! “Thanks Google for all your hard work! Thanks Heathline for providing me such great care! “Stupid Stupid Canadian I Don’t Care About Your Health but I LOVE your MONEY Health System!!!
Yeah it’s free, but we paid tax!!!
Yeah it’s free, but we work more day and night just to pay you MORE TAX!
Yeah it’s free, but you know what.. I rather pay for my Health, get my tax portion back for not truely utilizing every penny of it and since I’m paying, I get to choose who I want to heal me and start feeling like a HIGHER BEING MYSELF!
I don’t hate doctors, but I just absolutely LOATH their attitude towards their patients/money/…money….money…. money …… money… and the system.
Sorry it’s not pharmacist related…
Just borrowing your blog until you delete my comment.

Comment by Clint Cora on 2010-05-01 17:45:46 -0700 #

I still remember the days when pharmacists loved seeing us drug reps because they wanted more ‘deals’ all the time. They also wanted us to clear up their expired stock.

Comment by not bitter on 2011-04-29 04:14:33 -0700 #

i would love to see you try to be a drug rep for a day. I’m gonna guess you couldn’t even hold a conversation with the receptionist well enough to get into the office. It sounds like you are stereotyping all drug reps to be the same… it sounds like you are a bit close-minded.

Comment by Stella on 2011-06-17 13:14:43 -0700 #

Drugs that are effective and safe do not need to be “pushed”. Just published. Why the hell is anyone concerning themselves with “getting into the office”? Sounds like something that needs a VPO.

If you build it, they will come. Which means we need to cut out the bottem-feeding middle-men/middle-tits.

Comment by Dr Philip McCavity on 2011-08-22 06:21:54 -0700 #

Hey Pharm
I don’t have any conflicts of interest…………
I always prescribe the drug with the biggest tits.

Comment by Elvis on 2012-10-20 20:01:11 -0700 #

Dude…Been a drug rep for 16 years….I think I’ve been in “3” pharmacies since then to make a sales call. I make more money than you, I’m better looking than you, more articulate than you, get more female ass than you could possibly dream of and am flat out ‘better than you’. You are a low life bottle filler. End of story. The only time I walk into a pharmacy now is to buy lube in order to jerk off on your car on the way out. Dont be a hater… FU!

Comment by Nicole on 2012-10-25 08:03:12 -0700 #

It costs a billion dollars to purchase, research and produce a pharmaceutical drug. Remember, all generic drugs were once branded, and everyone keeps asking when will new antihypertensive/diabetic/cholesterol medication will come out. Reps pay taxes too and contribute to the economy as producing, educated individuals. Remember just like all pharmacists aren’t dirty and just trying to push generics to achieve their quota regardless on what’s best for the patient, not all pharma reps are evil either.
And although I do have an ADVANCED DEGREE in the medical field, the doctor prescribing my drug because of my tits just makes my life easier and gets me more commission.

Comment by Dan on 2013-04-14 18:35:17 -0700 #

Labeling all doctors as “idiots” is beyond insulting. First of all look at what a med student endures, when he or she completes medical school and endures a grueling residency as an intern. Doctors are smart, damn smart. Doctors do make mistakes. Intentionally? No. Doctors aren’t gods, nor do they possess any super human abilities. They do their best as healers in the western principles that they were trained in. Western medicine has its faults but it is science based medicine. Asian (holistic) medicine isn’t scientifically grounded in most aspects. Holistic “treatments” can work to a small degree, not at all, or have dire consequences on the patient. I once worked with a lady who refused western medicine. She had high blood pressure and relied solely on a quack chiropractor who touted himself as a “functional medicine doctor.” Needlessly to say my co-worker blindly followed the absurd advice of her chiropractor and attempted to “cure” her hypertension by taking herbs, supplements and dietary changes. My co-worked ended up suffering a TIA stroke and had serious heart palpitations from congestive heart failure she didn’t know she had. She ended up dying in the ICU from complications of congestive heart failure and the stroke. She was 57 years old. If my co-worker had seen a REAL doctor and not some quack chiropractor she’d be alive today. People want to dis and damn western medicine due to their incredible ignorance. Let’s hear of all of the unnecessary deaths due to using herbs and lethal interactions of other “natural supplements.” There’s a valid reason why doctors dismiss the use of “natural” treatments. Why? Because these “natural treatments” are scientifically unproven as being beneficial and PROVEN to be dangerous especially mixed with other drugs and supplements. Don’t EVER play doctor with yourself. Now that IS DUMB! If you’re not pleased with what on doctor says, then that’s why the old standby is to get a second opinion. But PLEASE don’t mess around with unproven “remedies.” Most of the time it’s merely placebo or much, much worse. There are no true cures for life’s most serious diseases, but there are valid treatments that DO work. Work with your doctor, ask questions, and be honest. Your doctor will appreciate it. PS Stay far, far away from chiropractors. They are all charlatans. A good fitness instructor can provide you with superior results. And they’re not out to rob you like chiropractors all do. Go to to read the truth regarding chiropractors. Dr. Steven Barrett has run this site for several years exposing medical quackery, and Dr. Barrett has one numerous awards for his work.

Comment by yo-mama on 2013-09-30 23:01:35 -0700 #

I think you need some drugs to regulate all that anger. Choose another career. And personally, I think you all suck; doctors, reps,insurance companies, and pharmacists. Wait until you get cancer and can’t get your oxy filled because of whatever lame bullshit reason.

Comment by Luiza on 2014-01-08 19:37:50 -0800 #

Hahaha…you are such angry person! Is there a good drug for angry people like you?? Chillax dude! There actually people with real problems out there.
Listen I feel for you- I am a pharma rep. With a back problem. But I can’t afford the tities and detest the heels just places me in a back mood as if shows a complete lack of professionalism and lack of sensitive for the sick.
Anyway I sincerely enjoyed reading your blog much more than Shakespeare or any studies. Now may I take you out for dinner?? 😉 you just need to be nice to me. Please feel better soon!