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Dear Patients…

·2360 words·12 mins
  • Please don’t call in for your medication refill (for cellcept, prograf or any other really expensive ordering-it-just-for-you drug), wait until I get the prior auth renewed, special order and fill it BEFORE you tell me that the strength, quantity, AND sig have been changed. That tends to make me mad.
    • If you wish to get your medication at a mail order pharmacy, its customary to let us know this BEFORE we fill all of your medications. Contrary to popular belief, it does cost the store money to fill each and every Rx regardless if we dispense it or not. I realize that your time is worth zero to you; doesn’t mean mine and my staff are the same way.
      • You call in your medication to be refilled if you indeed want it filled here, not because you want it transfered to a store down the road that charges you $1 less for your soma.
        • You cant read minds, neither can we. If you are going out of town for a week and need your medications early; please tell me this when you call in the refill – not while you are sitting there yelling at me because I didn’t fill your drugs because its 2 weeks early. I don’t like to be put on the spot when there are 10 other things to be done.
          • I am not your insurance rep, so please don’t have me do their job by calling your insurance company to get your ID numbers. You were stupid enough to lose the cards, you can be the one who sits on hold for an hour.
            • Yelling at me over a $0.10 increase in your copays (for that $300 medication) isn’t going to do a damn thing but make me upset and you feel better about yourself. When I tell you that you need to call the insurance, you in fact do need to call the insurance.
              • When I am trying to consult you in the proper instruction of a bunch of OTC meds you are getting for free because you are poor (and unable to afford the 2 sick children you brought into this world) – please have the common courtesy to not be talking on or answering your cell phone while I show you how much to give. Your children’s lives may not be worth anything to you, but they mean something to me. I guarantee that how much to give is more important than who your “baby-daddy” is banging this week.
                • Please don’t get offended if you are here to pick up lice medication, and I refuse to talk to the doctors office whom are currently on your dirty cell phone. The “I get no cell reception back here” really means “I don’t want your lice”.
                  • Please don’t get offended if I refuse to touch the used tube of vaginal cream that looks like it has had the soul sucked out of it. Though making the Rx label see-through with grease and who-knows-what is a neat yet disgusting trick.
                    • Please control your children. The pharmacy is not a playground. For every shelf that your child destroys, the higher your copay becomes and the longer the wait is. If your children are so out of control that I need to yell at them (because I’m a nice guy like that), please don’t get offended and feel you are a bad parent. I know its hard to be 16 and have two children. Obviously you didn’t learn after the first one, so I wont hold it against you for being a complete idiot.
                      • Its fine to brag to us about your child’s accomplishments. Your daughter pregnant at 14 isn’t one of them. Getting pregnant is not hard. Its putting a round peg in a round hole. On that same note; neither is bragging about how many baby-daddies you have.
                        • When I say its okay if you use the pharmacy phone to make a call, its not okay to call in your refills to the pharmacy down the road.
                          • Please give me all of your insurance cards when I ask for them. This isn’t a game. I really don’t like seeing you whip out the one card I need after I spend 10 min’s on hold. Doing so may result in stabbing of the face. This also holds true for prescriptions that you ‘lost’ and i’m trying to get from the doctors office.
                            • When we ask to see your ID when picking up narcotics; its not because we don’t like you, its because we cant trust you or your ‘caregiver’.
                              • Spending the only $10 you have on your Valium and not your child’s antibiotics makes my heart sad for humanity. Please don’t do that.
                                • Showers…. I heard they are making a comeback this year. Maybe you should take one.

Comments #

Comment by Richard S on 2007-01-31 10:37:04 -0800 #

someone came into my pharmacy today, holding his monthly welfare card. he then told me he wanted vitamins and antibacterial soap.
he must have thought that he died and went to heaven when he qualified for welfare. all the free soap and vitamins you can hold!
when i explained that its not for free, he got so mad, he walked out. he probably sat at home, doing nothing all day, moping about not getting soap.
he was so excited about the prospects of washing and i ruined his day.

Comment by Rick on 2007-01-31 10:42:11 -0800 #

One other thing……..please don’t stand there picking your nose while I’m trying to talk with you. Save your booger hunt for the parking lot or your car…not in my store. If you need a tissue ask for one, don’t wipe a canoe load of snot under my counter.

Comment by I heart pharmacy on 2007-01-31 11:45:22 -0800 #

Ha ha ha! check out our blog at
We just started it but it is going to rock!

Comment by Patrick on 2007-01-31 16:24:48 -0800 #

Here is another one. If the pharmacy down the street will not call the doctor to get refills for your meds, DO NOT call our pharmacy and tell us we have to call your doctor to get a refill for your meds, then ask us to call it into the other pharmacy for you.

Comment by cathy on 2007-01-31 18:36:12 -0800 #

can i just say “i love you”?!!
this is the first thing i read in the morning and the last thing i read before i go to bed. i am ‘addicted’. all the shit we deal with on a daily basis wrapped up in sarcasm and sprinkled with humor. love it!

Comment by Pharmacy Tech Gone Postal on 2007-01-31 19:42:56 -0800 #

Heres one to add that happened on Monday:
Do not take your bowel prep (in this case visicol) before coming to the pharmacy to pick up your other meds.

Comment by VanduchiPharmD on 2007-01-31 20:28:24 -0800 #

*Attaches to front counter and places a copy in each patient’s bag*
This is great!!!!
Also, dont have your doctor fax in all 23 of your prescriptions, so that I fill them and then when you come in and say that you only want the 3 prescriptions that medical assistance won’t cover and I can “just put the other’s back”. “that is not too hard to do is it”…Nope that is not hard at all, it was the filling and checking that I already did that was the tough part. It is like telling you to do your job and at the end of the day your boss comes in and says “well, it was nice that you worked so hard all day, lets just throw everything you did in the shredder, but here is a big Thanks to boost your self confidence”
Or the patient that comes in and drops of their prescription, 2 weeks later we call to see if they will come and pick it up and they say oh ya, today, I will be in, I just forgot…2 weeks later, you return it to stock…2 days later they come in tell you they want it, they will be in the store, and then leave again not picking it up…Then a week later you get a call from the competitor down the street asking you to reverse it so they can run it thru…And all this time I was hoping his blood pressure would go thru the roof and he would stroke out, but alas he made it and is now down the street driving them mad!

Comment by mimi on 2007-01-31 21:53:17 -0800 #

“Please control your children. The pharmacy is not a playground. For every shelf that your child destroys, the higher your copay becomes and the longer the wait is. If your children are so out of control that I need to yell at them (because I’m a nice guy like that), please don’t get offended and feel you are a bad parent. I know its hard to be 16 and have two children. Obviously you didn’t learn after the first one, so I wont hold it against you for being a complete idiot.”
i have to agree with this one.. fact.. all!!

Comment by Nikki on 2007-02-02 20:35:01 -0800 #

I have to tell this story to someone who understands…
We have this extremely prominent attorney in town who basically thinks the world must stop for him and everyone in his family. I get the wonderful joy of filling his psychotic celexa and xanax induced nieces prescriptions. Psychotic just doesnt seem to be the appropriate word though. About two weeks ago, she gets a Prevident prescription filled. Absolutely must have brand. She drives the 23 miles back to her MANSION. And calls us about 45 mins later. Somehow from the drop off counter to the register one of the techs changed it to generic. She is screaming and cussing at the pharmacist for at least 20 mins or so. She gets in her car, has her NURSE drive her all the way back to our store so that we can get it handled. She arrives at the store apologizes for cussing at the pharmacist and then has us give her FORTY dollars in CASH for gas money. We ring up the prevident, she realizes we forgot to ring up her Celexa that she forgot she had. Completely evil. Begins cussing us again. Leaves the store. Comes back a week later and cusses at us again because her doctor didnt write her RX for Xopenex inhaler correctly. Of course, that’s my fault. And because I made the mistake of telling her my name when she was yelling at me, she has made a “formal complaint” with the district office and the DM has now called our store manager and said that we have to do everything we possibly can to keep her happy because everytime she picks up a RX she also blows like 200 dollars on front store merchandise. The icing on the cake…one of the cashiers busted her for shoplifting today. Little things that make me smile.

Comment by Amanda Bernardi on 2007-02-03 17:38:28 -0800 #

This is easily the best blog I’ve ever read. I have only been a licensed pharmacist since July, but I agree with every single thing you’ve written. I was happy to find this after a long day of work, when a lady threw 3 pints of lactulose at my head when her copay was more than $2. Keep writing… great stuff.

Comment by Stephanie R on 2007-02-04 00:58:40 -0800 #

If only the patients could read, then they’d understand. Most of them can’t or won’t even do that.

Comment by Pharm Student in Toronto on 2007-02-04 10:10:47 -0800 #

I haven’t checked up your site in a while (I blame it on school), so I’m reading some of your older posts now… and it’s hilarious as always!
“We are as much ‘wanna be doctors’ as you are ‘wanna be pharmacists’. Anyone can work on a car, but a mechanic is going to get the job done right the first time.” Nicely put. 🙂

Comment by Joseph B on 2007-02-04 17:12:41 -0800 #

That was awesome! Preach it!

Comment by nutpharm on 2007-02-06 07:06:38 -0800 #

This one with the blue-heads kills me:
I need to call in a refill.
OK. Number?
Thank you. What time do you want to pick that . .
OK. The number?
That’s our phone number. Will you please die?

Comment by customers smell on 2007-02-06 21:08:05 -0800 #

lol! i like fast food pharmacy too

Comment by Robin on 2007-08-04 11:45:15 -0700 #

Oh my. I’m not a pharmacist. HOWEVER, I own a company that manages medical practices. I busted out laughing because this site just SMACKS of the crap we have to take when we field patients’ phone calls about their medical bills, i.e., “What do you mean Medicare doesn’t cover that!”

Comment by RC on 2007-09-24 22:12:20 -0700 #


Comment by fmaon06 on 2011-03-26 05:03:46 -0700 #

Yeah, you know the interactions of like, the 3 drugs you take or whatever. The pharmacist must know hundreds of interactions that they may run across randomly during the day. A customer comes up to the counter and asks, “Can I take acetaminophen with my hydrocodone/APAP?” Of course they wouldn’t use those words, but I’m going to guess you don’t know any pharmaceutical chemistry names or the result that the aforementioned interaction would cause.

Don’t knock what you don’t understand.

Comment by You don’t need to know on 2011-03-30 15:09:00 -0700 #

You people – yes I said the dreaded “you people” are the reason my mother is afraid to talk to a pharmacist about anything! And no, she’s not on percocet. Find a new profession! Your anger will kill you faster than any amount of pills you hate these people for taking!