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The woman who cleared our store.

·626 words·3 mins

This is so bad that I just have to make it its own entry.
A few weeks ago (yeah, its been that long) this woman came into our store. Now I’m in the back doing what I do best (filling vicodin and soma), when I noticed the girls in front start go get funny looks on their faces.
Then it hits me. There is this stank erupting from this woman. It smelt like expired chinese food, mixed with crab that had been sitting in the sun for about a week all mixed in with unwashed gamey crotch.
Now I have a strong stomach. Really strong. This stank made me run to the back and dry heave into my boss’ garbage can. As I looked through the one way glass, I could see the entire store just clear out. The girls were spraying Lysol into the air and turning on the fans. The woman didn’t even notice. She just kept on shopping away like nothing ever happened. Eventually the girls figure the Lysol is losing the war, so they retreat to the back. My eyes are watering from the heaving. The store is completely empty at this point. I can handle guns shoved in my face for money, but I was ill equipped for this womans chemical warfare.
Then I see the unexpected. Our pre-Intern (he starts pharmacy school next month) bravely walks up to the front, and fucking helps her. I sat there in admiration and awe. Like a solider that jumps on the hand grenade to save his friends, he took one for the team and helped this woman buy her $2 worth of earrings and sent her on her merry way.
Ever use Ozium? That really really strong air sanitizer? Well we used a bottle of it to make the store habitable again. Not the small bottle, the BIG bottle. Thank you pre-intern, to allow the Angry Pharmacist to blog another day. I will never forget you.

Comments #

Comment by greensunflower on 2007-07-23 01:55:19 -0700 #

I just dont get how someone could be mobile, have money to buy earrings, and smell that bad.
I mean how does that happen?

Comment by Joe the Pittsburgh Intern on 2007-07-23 12:03:43 -0700 #

whoaaaa.. you have a good intern. I would have never done that shit!
Luckily I think a majority of our patients bathe. There is this one dude who comes in after working at Wendy’s. He reeks of grease but at least he has a job and isn’t sucking on the welfare tit.

Comment by Pharmacy God on 2007-07-23 13:58:40 -0700 #

Your pre-intern should get hazardous duty pay, and a steak dinner.

Comment by LD50 Rat on 2007-07-25 09:32:18 -0700 #

Personal favorite,
The person that reeks like hot garbage stirred with a stick, and he/she is driving a $$$ SUV.
You think the stank alone would suffocate ’em in the car.

Comment by Duki4life on 2007-07-26 09:03:45 -0700 #

Our pharmacy has a bottle of Febreze on hand just for our “stinky” patients… It really helps!

Comment by drugmanrx on 2007-07-26 22:13:07 -0700 #

He must be new….I would have ran the other way

Comment by Gravelpit on 2007-07-27 08:48:51 -0700 #

And PLEASE_PLEASE don’t chain smoke about 20 cigarettes outside the door then come to the Pharmacy counter…take some time to air out…that smells so bad you can taste it

Comment by Rio Iriri on 2007-07-29 17:31:33 -0700 #

“Congratulations, ma’am, you are our 431st customer this month, and, as such, you have won this gift bag of store brand bath products!”
(bag from card dept filled with travel size shampoo, soap, conditioner, etc)
I really don’t know how people can tune out their stink when it’s that bad. If I forget deodorant, I can’t stand myself!

The Angry Pharmacist
The Angry Pharmacist
Started this site in 2005 out of frustration that pharmacy school does not prepare you for dealing with the ungrateful unwashed public. Was hugely popular until life called and I had to take a break. Now I try to provide low brow potty humor that applies to the pharmacy population at large. Except you clinical fucks, go play doctor with your white coats and snobby attitude.